It breaks my heart...

...to be in la, married, and alone on a friday night. However, it brings up a question that has been plaguing me for the entirety of my stay in la.

See, I have two partners. I have many people who have been involved in my movies. However, even though I am close to some of them, I will never be as close to them as I am to my old roommates, friends, lovers, and acquaintances of my past. And it got me to thinking, I haven't made a real friend in years.

***NOTE: I distinguish a real friend as one who I hang out with continuously, that I can show up at their house unannounced and have a conversation from years ago without explaining myself. While I have many friends, I only have 2-5 friends that are like that. Please, if you are a friend of mine, don't take offense...just hang out more, call, or show up unannounced and drink all my beer. It's the quickest way to become a "real" friend.***

It's one of the things I fear most of all. I am not one that comes off well from the get-go. I come off better after knowing someone for a long time. The best friends I have didn't like me at first glance. However, through continual proximity, they eventually became good friends.

Just a thought. I hope I can make new friends in LA. I'm frightened it won't happen.